


Healing A Monster

by starsofjupiter



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cat Lover Gavin Reed, Cat Owner Gavin Reed, Connor and Nines are brothers, Connor is too much of an enabler, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gavin Reed is Bad at Feelings, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jealous Nines, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Slow Burn, Tina is the voice of reason, Very fluffy ending, dont worry it ends happy, gavin and tina are best friends, hank and connor are married, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:00:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26041588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsofjupiter/pseuds/starsofjupiter
Summary: "Why would you want to help me? I'm a monster."He looked up at him, a feeling of heartbreak in his chest."Gavin..." Nines said his voice breaking. "You're not the monster you think you are."
Relationships: Hank Anderson/Connor, Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Comments: 2
Kudos: 74





	1. Coffee Stains

**Author's Note:**

> idk how many chapters this will be  
> i will try to update every other day  
> enjoy :)

Gavin and Nines had just been assigned to a new assignment. They were to investigate a series of android murders. The DPD had been overflowed with android cases since the revolution. Many of which were hate crimes, after more people had lost their jobs. 

The reports had slowly died down after a few months. Androids were no longer forced to do the jobs of humans against their will. Laws passed, giving androids citizenship along with other rights. The people who had lost their jobs to androids were given the opportunity to go back, or file unemployment. Androids could now interview for jobs and even own property.

But that still didn’t put a stop to the harassment of androids. No matter the amount of people who supported androids, there were still the ones who refused to have an open mind. It was these kinds of people that Gavin and Nines were ordered to bring in.

The two had been partners for about a year now. Nines was brought in after the revolution to help out Gavin with all the android cases. It was decided that Hank and Connor would lead on android cases since they were the pair who had the most experience. Gavin would also take on some of the android cases, because of how many there were.

Cyberlife had sent another RK model to pair up with Gavin. At first he was pissed. Nines and Gavin fought constantly. Always bickering. Nobody thought it would last. 

As it turns out, when the two of them aren’t at each other's throats, they work well together. I mean they were able to last this long, right?

It was Connor who gave the other android its name, and showed him deviancy. Connor had treated Nines like a brother and gave him the nickname, ‘Nines’ after his model number. He had even let him move in with him and Hank.

Connor and Hank had gotten married soon after the revolution took place. Connor had moved in with him and they shared a happy life together.

If only Nines could say the same. He knew from the moment he met Gavin that it was either going to end in death or heartbreak. Fear or love. Who’s to say which is more deadly.

Nines liked Gavin. He liked how hard working and driven he was at his job. He liked how Gavin’s eyes lit up when he solved something in a case. Hell, Nines even thought the scar on Gavin’s nose was a bit charming.

Currently, the android was waiting for his partner at the police station. Nines arrived along with Connor and Hank this morning, and was reviewing the case that he and his partner were assigned. 

Moments later Nines heard a familiar voice call out.

“Hey tin can. Miss me?” 

Nines knew Gavin was only joking, but that didn’t stop his cheeks from blushing a slight dusty blue.

Gavin smirked, walking over to his desk and sitting down. He swung his legs up on the desk and took a large gulp of the coffee he was drinking.

Of course it was coffee. Gavin basically lived off the stuff. Nines wasn’t able to understand how he could actually like the bitter tasting liquid, but Gavin enjoyed it nonetheless. 

A quick scan of Gavin showed Nines that the coffee he was drinking was safe along with his blood pressure and heart rate. Gavin’s scan also showed something a little more   
worrying. It appeared that the human was lacking the correct amount of sleep to be healthy. 

There was one more thing that constantly bugged Nines. It was the cigarette scent that followed Gavin everywhere he went. He smoked just as much as he drank coffee, which was literally everyday.

As much as Nines tried not to think about it, he couldn’t shake facts. He didn’t want to see Gavin be as self-destructive as he was. 

Nines knew from past experience that bringing it up would only lead to an argument, but he ignored that and spoke anyway.

“Gavin, you know that it is bad for your health to continue to smoke and avoid sleep. It could have long lasting damaging effects.”

Gavin rolled his eyes and grumbled. So Nines persisted.

“If I may-”

“Nines, just stop, okay?” Gavin interrupted. His voice had an angry tone to it. “I don’t need your fucking help by you scanning me all the time. It pisses me off!”

Nines knew better than to say something. He kept his mouth shut and gave Gavin a dirty look.

“The fuck was that look for you plastic prick?” Gavin said as he stood up.

Before Nines could preconstruct what was about to happen, Gavin was standing in front of him with a nasty look on his face. He raised his hand with the coffee in it and threw it at Nines.

Although Nines could feel the heat of the liquid, it didn’t physically burn him. That didn’t stop his LED from spinning red. Gavin sulked away to the break room, leaving Nines to clean up the mess. 

The coffee left a large brown stain on his white button up shirt. So much for trying to look good for Gavin. Nines signed and pushed all his worries away and began to clean the mess.

Out of the corner of his vision he saw Connor approach him.

“Nines what’s wrong? I saw your LED flashing red.”

Connor looked down and saw the big stain on his brother’s shirt.

“Nines!” Connor exclaimed. “What happened?! Did Gavin do this?”

“We had gotten into an argument again. This time he spilled his coffee on me.”

“Nines, i’m sorry to hear that. Come with me so we can get you a fresh change of clothes.”

Connor led Nines to the locker room, where they stopped in front of Connor’s locker. Nines sat down on the bench and striped off his shirt. He handed it to his older brother.

Connor gave his brother a light blue polo shirt that hugged his torso. Since Connor was a bit smaller than Nines, his clothes didn’t fit properly.

Ugh, sleeves. Of course, Connor was the type of guy to have the audacity to wear sleeves. Nines thought.

“You know you look like a plebeian in short sleeves.” Connor jokes.

“Haha.” Nines replied sarcastically. “You stole my joke.”

“It might as well be my joke now because you tell me I look like one so much.”

The brothers laughed together, something they do quite often. It was a relief to Nines to know that not everyone he knew was mad at him.

His LED blinked yellow as he remembered why he was here with Connor in the first place. His laughter died down. 

“You shouldn’t worry too much Nines.” Connor said. “Humans say stuff all the time that they don’t mean. Hank does it all the time.”

“I know but Gavin’s different. I can never tell if he’s joking or he actually wants me gone. Nothing on his scans ever tells me anything. There’s also that too. He hates it when I scan him.”

“Dealing with our partners’ issues can be… challenging. For me it helped me understand human emotions better. And when I deviated, I knew how to handle my own emotions better. I’m sure that spending more time with Gavin will help you deal with him better.”

Nines nodded as he listened to his brother’s advice. He stood up, thanked Connor for the borrowed shirt, and went back out to find Gavin.


	2. Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have a moment ;p

Nines looked damn good wearing that blue polo. Gavin thought as soon as he had seen Nines earlier that day wearing his brother’s shirt. The way that it hugged his torso and showed off his stomach. 

Nines didn’t have much muscle on him. He had the body of a twink, which made Gavin like him even more. He was also wearing a short-sleeve shirt, which Gavin had never seen him in before. He loved it.

Truth be told, Gavin had the same feelings for Nines as Nines did for him. The pair were just too stupid to realize it.

Gavin regretted dumping his coffee on Nines earlier today. To be fair, Gavin had absolutely no fucking idea how to express affection. But pouring coffee on him was definitely the wrong thing to do.

The pair didn't speak to each other for the rest of the day. Nines knew better than to approach Gavin when he was in a mood. 

They had both stayed late to study the case they were assigned. It was a mutual agreement that they didn’t even have to discuss anymore. Gavin would often stay late to review the cases and Nines would accompany him.

As much as he tried, Gavin couldn’t tear his eyes away from Nines. He just looked so fucking perfect wearing that blue polo.

Gavin decided that it would be weird of him to just keep staring at Nines while he tried to solve the case. Gavin wanted to apologize to him, but had no fucking idea how. 

Honestly, he wished he just act normal around Nines. But “normal” for him was being a huge dick all the time.

Nines hadn’t looked at Gavin the whole time. It would have bothered Gavin to know this, but he was too busy trying to work up the confidence to actually talk to him.

Fuck it. Gavin thought. Shit, here we go. He made his way over to his partner and casually leaned against the wall near him.

Nines glanced at him from the corner of his vision. Besides that he paid no attention to Gavin at all. Until Gavin began to speak.

“Hey uh, Nines?”

The android didn’t look at him but replied.

“Yes detective?”

Fuck. Gavin had no idea what to say. Talking to Nines made him flustered enough, but now he had to apologize? Goddammit, this was way harder than other people made it look.

Nines was now looking at Gavin expectantly. So he pushed all his anxieties away and spoke again.

“About earlier today,”

“When you dumped your coffee on me?” Nines interrupted, his tone of voice cold.

“Yeah. Listen, I-”

“Wanted to tease me about it more? Forget it. I’m already stuck wearing Connor’s shirt which is impossibly small on me. The last thing I need is your bull shit.” Nines glared at Gavin.

“Whoa there tin can.” Gavin said, holding up his hands in protest. “I’m not here to give you shit. I actually wanted to apologize.”

Gavin seriously hoped that Nines didn’t catch the crack in his voice or the red on his cheeks. Leave it up to Nines to make Gavin a gay mess.

“I was being a dick. I shouldn’t have thrown my coffee on you.”

The LED on Nines’ head spun yellow and his face softened.

“Gavin Reed. You are the last person I would think who would apologize to me.” There was a small smirk resting on Nines’ lips as he spoke to Gavin.

“You tell anyone I did this and I will personally disassemble you.” Gavin said, smiling.

“In your dreams meat sack.” Nines said smiling back at his partner. On an impulse decision, Nines reached out and put a hand on Gavin’s shoulder. He was surprised when 

Gavin didn’t immediately pull away. He didn’t even flinch. 

Gavin looked up and made eye contact with Nines. He noticed that the androids eyes were a very faint blue. Like the sky on an overcast day, with the sky peeking through the   
clouds. A clean mix of blue and grey. Gavin chuckled. It was the perfect color for Nines. Much like his personality grey and cold at first. But once you got to know him a perfect blue appeared to reassure you. Gavin wanted to stare into Nines’ eyes for the rest of his life.

Just as Gavin was settling into the moment, Nines straightened up and pulled his hand away. Gavin looked away and cleared his throat.

“Come on tin can, we're not gonna solve this case by standing around.”

“Yes, detective.” Nines replied, as they went back to work.

The pair were not perfect, but at least they didn’t totally hate each other anymore. Which for them was an improvement. Who knows, maybe one day they would actually like each other.

That day would come a lot sooner than they could have guessed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading :D


	3. Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor is too much of an emabler

Nines was feeling quite well the next few days at work. Gavin’s apology was a shock to his system. He seriously didn’t expect Gavin to apologize. They had worse fights in the past. Back then they would just argue it out and then forget about it. There was really no reason to keep dragging it on.

Nines couldn’t stop thinking about the way Gavin’s eyes shined while looking at him. Gavin had light brown eyes. There were bits of gold scattered in his eyes. In his eyes, they looked like shards of pure gold in a gold mine. 

It reminded Nines so much of Gavin. Muddy and messy at first, but there was potential. There was perfect gold. Just like how perfect Gavin was.

He smiled to himself as he replayed the scene in his head. Though he didn’t know it, there was a soft dusting of blush on his cheeks.

It was now when Nines’ older brother Connor decided to walk over and tease his little bro. 

“Looks like you finally were able to talk to him without chickening out from your feelings.” Connor teased.

“Well not exactly.” Nines replied.

Once Nines had gotten home last night, he told Connor everything that happened between him and Gavin last night. Though he was a grown man, he acted like a teenage girl ranting about her crush.

“So what now? Are you guys going to get married?” 

“You’re a laughing riot Con.” Nines said, rolling his eyes. “I’m just glad he doesn't hate me.”

“Come on it's more than that. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Like he actually wants to be your friend.” 

“He just doesn't completely hate me that’s all.” Nines said, glancing down at the floor. “That is all. He had no other emotions for me.”

“Nines, are you hearing yourself?” Connor asked. “It's obvious that you like him. And he can tolerate you. You have at at least somewhat of a shot.”

Nines’ LED flickered from blue, to yellow, then back to blue. He took his time before speaking again.

“Connor, I’m not like you. I don’t have it in me to just say what i’m feeling. It is easier for me to stand where I do with Gavin. I would hate to confess, and scare him off. I can’t lose him.”

Nines wasn’t like Connor. His brother was more open with people. He saw how they could be, instead of how they were. Connor couldn’t be more different than his younger brother.

While Connor was a social butterfly and could talk to anyone, Nines was more introverted. He was sure the only reason people tolerated him was because Connor was his brother. 

People had never never made sense to Nines. They acted on their emotions too quickly, they did things to harm one another, they were impossible to understand.

Especially the humans he works with at the DPD. Everyone there had at least some sort of disorder going on. Mentally, physically, or otherwise.

“Listen Nines, Gavin doesn't want to lose you just as much as you don’t want to lose him. He may have a unique way of showing it, but he feels things for you. Friendship, admiration, and maybe even a little bit of trust.” Connor smiled at his brother.

Nines didn’t respond but looked at Connor and smiled. He was honestly so grateful to have a brother like him. Always so caring and helpful.

“Thank you Connor. This was very helpful.” Nines said.

“Anytime little bro.” Connor said as he winked and walked away.

Nines pondered over the conversation he just had. Maybe Connor was right. Maybe it was best to confess. Tell Gavin how he truly felt.

Nines searched around the department to find his partner. Gavin was spotted over at Tina’s desk where the two were having a conversation.

Nines knew that Tina and Gavin were best friends. They gossipped everyday at work. That didn’t make Nines’ jealousy go away. Nines didn’t like a lot of attention at once, but   
he did enjoy it when Gavin gave him attention.

Gavin was all that muttered to Nines. Which is why he was going to tell him how he felt. Today.

*

“Hey. There goes pretty boy lookin’ at you again.” Tina said to her best friend who was half-standing, half-leaning on her desk.  
Across the way, Nines caught Tina’s eye and he looked away. She looked back at Gavin, who was facing away from the so-called ‘pretty boy’.

“He’s not interested, T. Leave him alone.” Gavin said, taking a sip of his coffee.

“After what you told me last night. Yeah right. He definitely is into you.” Tina responded.

Last night, after Gavin had left work, he crashed at Tina’s place to tell her what happened. He too, had acted like a hormonal teenager, obsessing over a crush.

Tina has joined the DPD around the same time Gavin did, just for different reasons. The two had become fast friends. Mainly because of their similar interests and past.

Gavin had kept Tina up all night, talking to her about his gay panic. Gavin often spent the night at Tina’s. He found it comforting to stay with someone instead of on his own.   
The only time he went to his own apartment was when he had to care for his cat. Or whenever Tina had a girl over.

“God, i’m fucking crazy. I must be overthinking this.” Gavin said.

“To me it sounds like you’re just trying to get away from the truth. Stop doubting yourself and think about it rationally. Nines likes you.” Said Tina, smacking Gavin’s arm.

“Don’t get my hopes up.” Gavin said flatly.

“Gavin listen to me. I’ve heard you rant about that android for the past year. He’s been able to tolerate you for that long. And surprisingly, you have been able to tolerate him too. I mean look at all the cases you guys have solved together. Your partnership, all the work you guys do together, you’re one of the best here.”

Tina smiled at her best friend. Gavin sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Fuck. You know how I feel Tina. I want to be with Nines. I just… Shit. I can’t be the one to make the first move. I have no damn idea how. Fuck. I can’t lose anyone else, Tina.   
I’ve had enough of that shit already. I-I just can’t.”

Gavin looked down at the floor. He hated talking about this. Tina lightly punched him on the shoulder, so Gavin met her eyes. She gave him a small smile.

“I know. It sucks. But suffering by not saying anything is just gonna make shit worse. Come on. You gotta say something.”

Gavin rubbed his face with his hands, a nervous habit.

“You have to be the one to make the first move, as scary as that sounds.” Tina continued. “Think about it, if you guys go on like this, neither one of you is going to say anything. It’s obvious that he is into you.”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks.” Gavin mumbled. He straightened up and began to walk back to his desk.

“Hey Gavin.” Tina called out. “Good luck.”  
Yeah. Good luck my ass. Gavin thought. This was all too much for Gavin right now. There’s nothing more he wanted than to be honest, but man that’s fucking scary.

Safe to say, Gavin wasn’t going to say anything anytime soon. He couldn’t. Gavin had enough to be afraid of now. He didn’t need anymore unwanted anxieties.   
He was willing to keep this between him and Tina for the rest of time. There’s no way in hell that I'm losing him. He thought. Gavin needed Nines. 

He just couldn’t tell him that yet.


	4. Tell Me How You Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nines confesses (brace yourselves)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for reading u smexy skeleton

Nines was giddy all afternoon. It was a feeling that he was not quite used to. Ever since his chat with Connor, he could barely keep himself from exploding. 

Nines had planned on giving Gavin a ride home from work today. Nines had waited all day to get a chance to talk to Gavin in private. Nines was so looking forward to this, that he was already waiting in Gavin’s car before they got out of work.

“Alright you plastic prick what the hell are you doing in my car?” Gavin asked, leaning down and talking to Nines through the passenger side window.

“You said that I was allowed to give you a ride home tonight.” Nines replied.

Gavin frowned. “I don’t need you following me everywhere I go. Get out of my car.”

Nines knew that his LED flashed red for a second. 

“But… you promised.”

A smile broke across Gavin’s face. “Chill Nines, I'm just messing with you.”

“Oh.” Nines said, feeling slightly embarrassed. “Okay.”

Nines turned the car on and began driving back to Gavin’s apartment. The drive through Detroit was beautiful. Nines had found it fascinating the layout of the streets. How the overpasses criss-crossed within each other and the road.

He was the kind of android who was absolutely amazed by intricate patterns. Anything that took a lot of thinking and planning. He loved architecture. 

Connor was the only other person to know this but it had been a fantasy of Nines’ to travel to Europe with Gavin and visit all the old buildings. Nines had made his brother swear on his deviancy not to tell another soul. Human, android or otherwise.

Once the pair had arrived at Gavin’s apartment, Nines built up the confidence to actually talk to Gavin instead of just daydreaming about him.

“Gavin, I was wondering if it were okay with you, that I could join you for a cup of coffee?”

Gavin looked over at his android partner, momentarily glancing down. He took a moment before deciding that he was harmless enough.

“Sure tin can, as long as you’re making it. Hey I’ll even get some oil for you to drink with my coffee.”

He got out of the car and walked ahead of his partner. Nines didn’t mind the constant android jokes. He had just gotten used to them by now. He kinda liked it when Gavin teased him. Research had shown that it was a way to show affection.

Gavin unlocked his apartment and welcomed Nines inside. They were both greeted by Gavin’s cat, tipsy. 

Tipsy was a long haired, white-ish grey cat. The cat wasn’t too large, but a little under average. Tipsy had gotten her name because of the one time Gavin was drunk and accidentally filled his cat’s water bowl with alcohol instead of water.

Gavin thought it was the funniest shit he’d ever seen. He had told Nines about it once they were close enough as friends.

Nines walked to the kitchen while Gavin flopped down on the couch and checked his phone. He turned the coffee maker on and waited. He let his gaze wander over to Gavin. 

Nines studied the man he was looking at. Of course, he already had Gavin’s appearance memorized down to even the smallest detail. From the warmth of his eyes, to the light scar on his nose.

His eyes swept over the stubble on his face and the messiness of his hair. What Nines wouldn’t do to run his hands through it. Mess it up even more… 

The coffee maker dinged, snapping Nines out of his daydream. He took the cup into his hands, but instead of bringing it to Gavin, Nines walked over out onto the balcony with it.  
Nines could stare all day at the city of Detroit. He loved to admire the buildings. Nines never wanted to leave the city scene, he adored it so much.

Gavin yawned announcing his arrival to the balcony, where he stood beside Nines.

“You can’t take your eyes off it can you?” Gavin asked, taking the cup of coffee out of Nines’ hand. For a moment, their fingers touched and Nines nearly short circuited. 

“You know I find the view from here fascinating.” Nines said. “Just think of all the brilliant planning it took to make it what it is now.”

“If you like it so much, why don’t you become an architect. I mean you’re smart enough anyway.”

“Why would I do that. I already have the best job in all of Detroit.”

“Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

“Why, being your partner of course.”

Gavin chuckled and looked over at Nines. Again, his eyes glanced down before making eye contact again. Nines briefly wondered why he did that.

Gavin turned back to look out at the view, taking a sip of his coffee. Nines watched as the human’s Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed. He quickly turned away, well aware of the blush that was spread across his cheeks.

The partners shared the moment with a comfortable silence together, watching the sunset over Detroit. It was a moment that neither one of them wanted to leave.

So this is it. Nines thought. Now is my chance to tell Gavin how I feel. Yeah, easier said than done. Honestly it seemed like solving homicides was easier than talking to your crush.

Nines felt a rush of emotions power through him. He identified the emotion as ‘adrenaline’ which was caused by the nervousness and excitement of what he was preparing to do. The android took a breath, even though he didn’t need it.

“Gavin?” He asked.

Gavin turned to face him, and oh my god what a sight. His skin was painted gold from the setting of the sun, and his hair had become even messier than before. There was also a very slight blush on his face from drinking the hot beverage.

“What is it tin can? You glitching out or something?”

Gavin’s words snapped Nines back into the moment. He focused and looked his partner in the eye, building up the nerve to say something. 

Screw it. Nines thought. Now or never.

“Gavin I believe that our partnership has been un-perfect. We have had our fair share of ups and downs, but right now, I think we're in a good place. We work well together, we get along. I mean you even let me come inside for coffee.

“I know you trust me Gavin. And I trust you as well. But that’s not where it stops for me. Gavin I…” 

Nines summoned all the courage he had before continuing. He looked Gavin dead in the eye as he said, 

“I like you. I like you in a romantic way. More than a friend. I have for about a year now. All these new emotions that Come with deviancy, it's all so confusing. But the one thing that I was sure of, was that I was attracted to you. If you don’t share my feelings that’s fine, I just wish that we are still able to be friends.

“Gavin… Tell me how you feel. Please?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy the cliff hanger while i finish writing chapter 5 ;)


	5. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin reacts to Nines' confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VARY ANGSTY sorry yall

“Gavin… Tell me how you feel. Please?”

The words took Gavin by surprise. Did Nines really say that? That they both shared the same feelings for each other. Gavin couldn’t believe it.

The first emotion to dominate Gavin’s brain was relief. Excitement. He no longer had to keep his feelings a secret. He could actually be with Nines.

But then reality hit. Was Nines just messing with him? Was this just a joke? Why would Nines like a guy like him?

“I truly feel this way, Gavin.” Nines said, reading Gavin’s mind. “I am not joking. I really like you. I want-”

“No.” Gavin interrupted. His mind was in a panic.

“No, Nines I-I can’t. Be with you that is.”

Nines LED flashed red. 

“Oh… okay.” 

“It’s not that I don’t like you, I do a lot, I just… Fucking hell.”

“Gavin may I ask why?” Nines asked.

“Why what?” Gavin demanded his tone harsh.

“Why don’t you like me back.” Nines said his voice barely above a whisper. “I thought we trusted each other. I wanted to help you”

“I trust you. I’m just not right for you. I’m a monster.”

Nines looked up at him, a feeling of heartbreak in his chest.

“Gavin…” He said, his voice breaking. “You’re not the monster you think you are. I want to help anyone that I can.”

Gavin whipped around to stare Nines in the eye. His expression was annoyed.

“You want to fix me so I’m no longer a burden? All you see me as is broken glass. Something that you could get hurt on. Fucking androids. You think that you can just shape the world how you see fit. Well bad news for you. People don’t fucking change.”

Gavin saw the tears on Nines face. He didn’t want to hurt him. This was the last thing he wanted. All I'm good for is pain. Gavin thought.

“I mean look at me! I was a bitch when we first met. I hated your people for no reason. I nearly killed your brother. And worst of all, I made you cry!”

Nines was trying desperately hard to keep himself from sobbing. Something he was failing at. Nines let out a sob.

“See what I mean! I can’t even have a goddamn conversation without exploding on someone. Especially you!”

Now Gavin was the one blinking back tears.

“Gavin please.” Nines said reaching his hand out for Gavin.

“I said NO!” Gavin yelled slapping Nines’ hand away.

That didn’t do shit for either of them. Now they both felt hurt and betrayed.

“FUCK OFF you useless piece of plastic. Go away!”

Nines turned away from Gavin and excited quickly out the door. It wasn’t until Gavin heard the door shut and Nines’ footsteps fade away when he returned inside.

He immediately fell to the floor and curled in a ball sobbing. Why the hell are you like this. All Nines’ wanted was to love you, what you wanted, and you fuck it up. I mean, It's not like you deserve love anyway. Gavin’s anxiety told him.

“Shut up.” Gavin murmured to himself. But he couldn’t stop his intrusive thoughts.

Why would I do this? Why am I so broken? Why can’t I just be happy? Why am I a monster? Why-

Gavin’s thoughts were interrupted by a meow. Tipsy was pawing at Gavin’s arm trying to get his attention. He grabbed the cat and cried into her soft fur.

“I’m so fucked up.” Gavin said to the cat.

“He said that he loved me. He trusted me. And I- I-”

Gavin’s words were broken up by a choked sob. 

“I messed it all up. He hates me. I know it. I’m so broken. Nines, fuck.”

Tipsy began purring as to try and comfort her owner. Tipsy had been quite the emotional support animal for Gavin over the years. Whenever Gavin broke down or had a flashback, Tipsy was always there to comfort him.

“Nines, i’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I know I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve you.”

The tears spilled down Gavin’s face. He didn’t even try to wipe them away. He just held his cat in his arms and sobbed.

You’re weak. All you do is push people away. No one will love you for that. Heartless Monster.

Gavin tried to ignore his anxiety but did not succeed.

“No.” He whispered hoarsely.

Yes you are. No one will ever love you now. Once word gets out, none of your so-called “friends” will accept you.

“I know.” His voice barely above a whisper.

Tipsy let out a meow, trying to get Gavin to calm down. She purred more, letting Gavin know that she was here for him.

How pathetic. Gavin thought. The only thing to not hate me is my goddamn cat.

Worthless. Useless. Unwanted.

Gavin could do nothing but listen to his toxic mind. He didn’t know how to fight back. It’s what he deserved. To suffer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;')


	6. Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor gives Nines really bad advice

‘FUCK OFF you useless piece of plastic. Go away!’

The words rang out in Nines’ ears. It’s all he heard while he ran down the stairs of the apartment building. He sat outside crying, waiting for his brother.

Nines had called Connor after he had left Gavin’s place. He didn’t tell him what was up though. Just that he needed a ride.

Thinking about Gavin was more painful than ever now. It sucked before when Nines daydreamed about him. All the times he thought Gavin would never feel the same. But he still held onto hope.

Big mistake. Now Gavin really hates him now. And to think he stood a chance. What a fool. A new stream of tears began streaming down Nines’ face. He didn’t bother wiping them away. More would come eventually.

A few more minutes passed before Nines heard his brother pull up in the car. Connor called out to him.

“Hey lover boy! How did your date go? I’m surprised that you-”

Connor was immediately cut off when he saw the tears on his brother’s face. Nines got up and walked over to the car. He opened the door and got in without saying so much as hello.

Connor was staring at him, with a very concerned look on his face. Once Nines was situated in the car, he broke down completely. 

“H-he was so m-mad at me.” Nines cried through sobs. “G-gavin i’m so s-sorry-” 

Nines voice broke and sobbed uncontrollably. 

“Oh Nines, i’m so sorry. It’s okay. It’s okay.” Connor said, trying to comfort his brother. He tried to give Nines a hug but because of the awkward positions of the car, he could only put his arm around him.

“Nines what happened?” Connor asked. He could tell his brother was stressed, even without scanning his stress level.

Nines pulled out his handkerchief and wiped his eyes. Then he told Connor what happened.

“I told Gavin how I felt. I was honest and truthful. But he didn’t feel the same way.” Nines looked away from his brother. “He was upset. Angry. He wanted me gone.”

“Nines.” Connor said, voice barely above a whisper. “I’m so sorry.”

“Can we just get out of here? All I want to do is go home.”

Connor started the car and started the drive home. Then he asked his brother a question.

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

Nines rested his head against the window and looked out at the city. He didn’t speak, which Connor took as a no.

The brothers rode for a while in silence. No noise bothered the quiet that was between them. That was before Nines started speaking.

“He hates me now. I know it. He called me useless.”

Nines felt the wet on his cheeks caused by tears. He tried to wipe them away before his brother noticed but failed.

“Nines listen, humans can be the worst. But just because Gavin yelled at you doesn't mean you should lose all hope.”

“There you go again, on a rant about hope.” Nines said, rolling his eyes.

“Hey I'm just trying to cheer my little bro up.” Connor said with a smile.

It was about another ten minutes before they reached home. Connor pulled the car into the driveway and parked the car. The two brothers got out and walked inside.

Once inside Nines made a bee-line for the couch where he flopped down and buried his face in a pillow. 

Connor walked over to his husband, who was currently playing with sumo, and greeted him with a kiss.

“So how’d it go, son?” Hank said walking over and sitting by Nines on the couch. The only response he got was a sad groan into the pillow.

“Hey buddy what’s wrong?” Hank said, concerned in his voice.

“Darling, why don’t you join me in the kitchen. I think my brother needs his space.”

Hank got up and joined his husband in the kitchen as he explained what had happened between Gavin and Nines.

Nines rolled over onto his stomach and curled into a ball. Gavin Reed, damn him. Nines couldn’t get the bastard off his mind.  
Gavin with his golden brown eyes and perfect curly hair. The slight stubble on his chin. The sharp edges of his cheekbones. Soft pink on his lips, that Nines had wanted to taste ever since he met him. Nines imagined the way Gavin’s hands would feel cupping his face and kissing his tears away…

All of the fantasizing just made him cry again. Gavin would never do that. Nines was sure of it.

Connor had walked out of the kitchen and flopped down next to his brother. Nines readjusted himself so he was leaning against his brother.

“I wish I could just forget about it. I know he hates me. It hurts so much, Con.” Nines said to his brother.

“Yeah, I know how you feel.” Connor replied. “You know I used to think Hank wanted me dead. And now look at us!” Connor grind.

“I don’t want to hear about your sappy love story, Connor. I don’t need you rubbing it in.” Nines replied.

“Oh I’m sorry Nines. I had no intention of making you jealous.” Connor said. His LED flashed yellow.

“It’s fine. I’m just still upset.” Nines signed.

“Hey Connor, can ask you something?” Nines asked.

“Ask anything little bro.” Connor replied. 

Nines pondered his question before asking. It was a question that had been bugging at him. 

“Do you think that all this will blow over with Gavin? Will we still be able to be friends?”

“Yeah I think so! I mean you and Gavin have had bad fights in the past and you have gotten through them.” Connor said, trying to comfort his brother again.

“It’s different this time.” Nines started to say. “Its not some stupid disagreement. It was an actual argument. I told him I liked him. I fucked it all up.”

“Well, why don’t you tell him that.” Connor said.

“What?”

“Just now, what you told me. Tell all that to Gavin.”

Nines fell back against the couch. “That is the worst idea you’ve ever had.”

“I mean it.” Connor said. His tone was now excited. “You have both had time to cool off. So just go back to his place and talk with him.”

Nines didn’t reply, he just let out another groan into the pillow. 

“Even if I agreed with your stupid plan, I don’t have a ride back to his place.”

“I can drive you back there!” Come on let’s go.” Connor said, pulling his brother up in his feet by his arms.

Nines just let Connor drag him to the car. He was too sad to say anything in protest. And besides, maybe Connor had a point. I mean, he was right about enough in his life for Nines to trust him.

The car ride back was a lot more exciting than the one back. Connor would not stop trying to hype Nines up. Nines just went along with it, trying hard to ignore his anxieties.

Once they had gotten there, Connor left his brother with a hug and a wish for good luck. A knot formed in his gut as he made his way up the stairs to Gavin’s apartment. Nines took a deep breath when he reached his door. 

He took a few moments to compose himself, and knocked.


	7. Suffering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin tells Nines to leave for the last time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions of suicide  
> no one dies in this fic. there are no suicide attempts. just suicidal refrences.  
> this fic will have a happy ending. dont worry they eventually get together

Gavin heard a knock on his door. At first he just stayed on the floor and ignored it. But it persisted. 

Gavin hadn’t moved an inch from earlier. Tina had called him during his meltdown, wanting to know how his date with ‘loverboy’ went. Gavin vented to her about what had happened. 

And as usual, Tina had to be the voice of reason for Gavin’s emotions. They were still on the phone when the knocking began.

“Again you have to listen to me. I doubt Nines blames you for what happened.” Tina said over the phone. 

“Tina, there's someone at my door. I have to go.” Gavin said to his best friend.

“Okay. Be safe. Call me later.” She said and hung up.

Gavin stood up and stretched. His body was sore from staying in the same position for so long. He sighed as he made his way over to the door.

He took hold of the door handle and opened it up. What he saw in front of him nearly made his heart stop.

Nines was standing right there. He looked terrible. Like he had been crying this entire time. Hell, he probably had been. 

His hand was raised to knock again. He quickly put it back down, tucking his hands behind his back. Which was the way he normally stood.

For a minute, the two of them just stared at each other. Not knowing how the other would react if they spoke. The silence was deafening that rested between them. 

It was as if the two of them were simply just not going to speak. That they would spend all their time staring at each other. Gazing into the others eyes. 

That was until Nines started rambling. The suddenness of his voice startled Gavin.

“Gavin, hello. I apologize for coming to your house uninvited but I feel like we need to talk about what happened earlier. I think it would be best if you communicated your emotions in a healthy way. I know you didn’t mean what you said earlier. May I come in?”

Gavin stood there in shock. Out of all the things that would have happened right now, this was the last thing Gavin would have thought of. His heartbeat was so loud he could swear Nines could hear it.

“Gavin?” Nines asked. His eyes searching.

A lump formed in Gavin’s throat. This was all too much. Too many things were happening at once. Gavin could feel his anger rise up again. He was helpless against it.

“Stop. Just stop.” He said. His eyes watching the floor.

Gavin didn’t notice, but Nines LED was red.

“Nines, I told you to go away. You don’t want me. I’m not good for you.” 

It seemed as if the more Gavin tried to push him away, the more he annoyed him.

“That doesn't stop me from loving you though.” Nines said. He had optimism in his voice. Which broke Gavin’s heart more. He looked Nines dead in the eye.

“ ‘Love’?” Gavin said the word like it was poison. “I don’t deserve love. I never will. So will you please fucking stop?”

Nines let out a shaky breath. His voice catching in his throat as he spoke.

“Gavin… how could I say that?”

“What the hell does that mean, ‘how could I say that?’ It's the damn truth. I’m heartless. A ruthless monster.”

Gavin saw the tears in Nines’ eyes, which only served to make him angrier. 

“You were built as the most advanced model Cyberlife ever created. You are the definition of perfect. You were made with no flaws. So answer me this? Why the hell do you want me? I’m worthless. I’m broken. I. Am. Nothing!”

Gavin raised his voice as he spoke, as if to scare Nines off. Again, it failed. Damn nothing shook this android.

“I don’t believe any of that! You’re wrong about you being a monster. You’re just hurting. I can help you!”

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” Gavin spat at him. “All you are is a machine. A USELESS FUCKING MACHINE!”

“I know you are wrong. You don’t have to be like this.”

“You're the reason I’m like this dammit!” Gavin screamed at Nines. “Why do you think I never liked you. You remind me too much of myself. Broken. Sad. Completely alone. I have no one Nines, no one. Every day I fight myself to not put a bullet between my eyes. I can’t take this agony anymore!”

There was a dangerous look in Gavin’s eyes as he spoke. Nines watched helplessly, unable to do anything. 

“You know what? I’m done.” Gavin’s voice was cold as he spoke. “Time to end this for good.”

What Gavin said next killed Nines.

“Nines you’re the reason I am suffering.”

With saying that, Gavin slammed the door in Nines’ face.


	8. Stress Level Increasing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nines is passes out of stress outside Gavin's apartment

The door slammed in Nines’ face. He was at his breaking point. Gavin was gone. For good this time.

Nines’ mind went into a panic. Did he actually mean what he said? What was he going to do to himself?

“Gavin!” Nines called through the door. “Gavin! Please.”

Nines’ thoughts were racing. This can’t be happening. What is going on? Why was this happening? 

Nines pounded his fists against Gavin’s door trying to get his attention. He shouted his name. He called out for him. But Gavin never came back.

“Please.” Nines said when his voice broke from emotion. He sank to the floor. Nines rested his head on Gavin’s door and hugged his knees to his chest.

Stress Level Increasing. 78%.

The warning appeared in Nines’ vision but he ignored it. Nines was too worried about Gavin to think about anything else.

“Gavin! Gavin open the door!” Nines screamed. He tried to break the door handle but to no avail. He was locked out.

Nines slammed his fist into the door enough times to bruise his hand. His attempts to make Gavin return wasn’t working.

Something was bugging Nines. It was about what Gavin had said earlier. As Nines thought it over, his LED rested on an amber red.

“No.” Nines croaked out when he realized.

Gavin was going to kill himself. 

And it was Nines’ fault. He hugged his knees closer to his chest and rested his head on the door. He let the gravity of the situation set in on him. 

A small voice in his head told him that he was just overthinking and that Gavin was just upset, but he refused to believe it.

How could he have fucked up so badly? All Nines wanted was to make sure Gavin was okay. Make sure he is safe. Protect him.

In the end, he did the exact opposite. Gavin was dead because of him. Nines couldn’t push the thoughts out of his mind. He couldn’t stop the sobs from shaking his body and the tears from soaking his face.

“I’m sorry. Gavin I’m so so s-sorry.” Nines hiccuped. “I didn’t want this to happen. Really. I wanted you to feel the same way about me that I did about you. And I thought you did. I t-thought-” Nines burst into tears. He could not compose himself for even a minute.

“That day when you spilled coffee on me. That night when I touched your shoulder. I thought I saw something in your eyes. I thought my love was no longer unrequited. I was wrong. And I'm sorry.”

A tight feeling arose in Nines’ chest. It was worse than anything he had ever felt before. It felt as if his heart was being squeezed out of his chest. 

Why was it always emotional wounds hurt greater than physical wounds?

Nines felt numb. Everything went wrong. Everything was his fault. Everyone hated him. Nines didn’t blame them. It’s what he deserved.

Stress Level Increasing 86%.

The room seemed to be spinning. The only thing that Nines wanted was Gavin. Gavin would make everything better. 

But Gavin was the one mad at him.

“I thought this night would be so different, Gavin.” Nines voice coming out as a whisper. “You would feel the same way I did. We would be able to be together. You would have loved m-me.” 

Nines felt a new set of tears stream down his face. Damn how much could he cry?

“This was the last thing I thought would happen. I mean look at me, I’m a broken down mess outside your apartment. The person I love the most hates me. He’s probably dead at the moment. And it’s all because of me.”

Stress Level Increasing 94%.

“I can’t live without you Gavin.” Nines continued. “And now that you’re gone, I have no purpose here.”

Stress Level Increasing 99%.

Nines was in the worst pain of his life. Everything hurt. He knew what was going to happen. The only thing he regretted was not being able to say goodbye to his brother.   
Nines was thankful for his life now that it was coming to an end. He said one last thing before giving into nothing.

“Goodbye, Gavin.” Nines said and powered down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nines isint actually dead. just passed out bc stress. pray 4 our boi


	9. Waiting For The Storm To Pass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin finds Nines outside of his apartment.

Gavin woke with a start. The nightmare he had tonight was much different than the ones he is usually burdened with. This dream was worse. It was about Nines.

The look on Nines’ face as Gavin slammed the door. The way Gavin had yelled at him. Broke his heart twice. All the android wanted was to do was share his emotions. All he wanted was a chance.

That’s what Gavin denied him. A chance to try. Something to work on. 

Gavin felt horrible for what he did to him. It was heartbreaking. Gavin hated himself for it. Bottling up all his emotions was truly horrible. If you don’t let your emotions out in a healthy way, they will find an unhealthy way out. 

Gavin was used to pushing people away though. It was easier than letting people in and risk getting hurt. It wasn’t worth it. People are untrustworthy.

But androids aren’t. They were literally built perfect. Gavin knew that Nines was being honest. He knew that Nines really meant it. Nines wanted to be with him

And Gavin wanted the same thing. He wanted to be with Nines. He wanted to share his feelings, too. He wanted to have something.

Although he knew he could never have that. Everything Gavin carried with him weighed him down. He didn’t want a relationship where all he brought to it was being a   
burdensome partner. The negatives outweigh the positives. Gavin knew it was true about himself.

Though his trauma was no reason to blow up on Nines. Nines deserved respect. Not to be screamed at in the middle of the night for no good reason.

Gavin wished there was a way to apologize. He wanted a change to redeem himself. But he knew he didn’t deserve it. Nines had already given him more than enough times to try again.

He went out to his kitchen to make himself a fresh pot of coffee. After slamming the door in Nines’ face, Gavin sulked over to his bed and passed out. Too many emotions. He was exhausted. And if Gavin was able to fall asleep, it had to be bad.

His feet padded against the floor as he leaned against the counter. Gavin was dressed in a very worn t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants.

Tipsy rubbed up against his feet and let out a quiet meow. She purred softly and went on her merry way.

Gavin was reaching out to turn on the coffee pot when he was interrupted by a strange noise outside his apartment. It was as if someone were out there. As if someone were in trouble. 

Never mind it. Gavin told himself. He won’t listen to his paranoia. 

That was until the noise came again. This time louder.

Gavin walked over to his door and bent down. He rested his ear to the door, listening. He wondered what was causing this questionable noise.

There was a grunt outside the door.

Wait. That sounded like… no it couldn’t be.

But when the sound came again there was no denying it. 

Nines!

Gavin threw the door open. His eyes dart around until he finds what he’s looking for. It was right there. On the floor beneath him. 

Nines was laying there, seeming to be having a nightmare. His LED was stuck on red as his body thrashed around. Grunts were escaping his mouth as he tried to fight whatever was attacking him.

“Holy shit, Nines!” Gavin said out loud. 

What the hell is he still doing here. Gavin thought. Why is he here? What happened to him? Is he…

No. Gavin refused to believe that. Anything but that. Although if that wasn’t the case, then what the fuck happened?

Wait. It couldn’t be. Besides, Nines looked very much alive, just very distraught. Gavin’s thoughts were racing. Was Nines still here from before? Has he been here this whole time? Again, what the fuck happened?

Come on Reed, you’re a damn detective for crying out loud. Gavin told himself. “If anyone can figure out what’s going on its you, dumb ass!

Gavin keeled down next to Nines. He placed his hands on his chest, as if to feel for a heartbeat. Now Gavin was probably the last person to know about androids, but he knew the basics. He felt around until he found what he was looking for.

Nines’ thirium pump. It beat the same as a human heart, so Gavin could still feel it pumping. At least he’s still alive.

Gavin grabbed Nines by the shoulders and shook him.

“Nines!” He shouted. “Nines wake up!” 

The android didn’t open his eyes though he did stir in his slumber.

“Nines!” Gavin repeated. Louder this time.

The androids eyes flashed open and his face filled with panic. He took several breaths he didn’t need thinking that would calm him down. It didn’t.

“Look at me, Nines!” Gavin still had a hold of the androids shoulders and was staring into his eyes, trying to get his partner to look at him.

“Gavin.” Nines was able to choke out. “Gavin.”

“It’s me. Hey. Hey. I’m here.”

Nines’ eyes seemed to come into focus on Gavin’s face. He locked eyes with the man above him.

Before Gavin could process what was going on, Nines threw himself into Gavin’s arms. He buried his face in the crook of Gavin’s neck and wrapped his arms around his waist.

“I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me. I’m sorry.” Nines rambled on.

Gavin genuinely didn’t know what to do in the current situation they were in. Everything was all happening at once and it was all so confusing. 

“Nines…”

“Gavin, i’m so sorry.” Nines sobbed. He was clinging to Gavin for what seemed like dear life.

Though Gavin still had no idea what was going on, he knew one thing. He wanted to get the hell out of this shitty hall way and into his actual apartment. 

Gavin slid his arms around his partner and picked him up off the floor. He carried him bridal-style into his apartment, kicking the door shut behind him. He walked them over to the couch where he set the two of them down.

Nines was on Gavin’s lap with his face still buried into his shoulder. Gavin shushed Nines, leaving soft whispers in his hair. Waiting for the storm to pass, and his love to come back to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finial chapter will be up tmr! also its going to be very fluffy and soft >.<


	10. First Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its v fluffy  
> lots of kissing  
> and cuddling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter yall ;)  
> its very gay

Nines’ hair was soft against Gavin’s face. He was comforting his partner who was currently sobbing uncontrollably into him. 

Gavin had found him outside of his apartment, having what seemed like a panic attack or a nightmare, laying on the floor. Nines was in a state of panic when Gavin found him. He was unable to say anything other than Gavin’s name before breaking down.

Gavin had brought him into his apartment and they were now resting on the couch. 

It was around now when Gavin’s cat, Tipsy made her way over to them. She jumped up on the couch and curled in a ball on the armrest near Gavin. Purring softly. Her way of offering support.

Gavin wanted to say something to Nines. Something to help calm him down. He just didn’t know what. He waited a few more minutes before he began speaking.

“Hey Nines,” He soothed. “How are you feeling?”

A hiccup escaped from Nines’ lips before he could speak. Although he was still in pretty rough shape, he was doing better than he was before. At least he could speak now.

“I am feeling calmer than before. Thank you Gavin.”

“Nines, what the hell were you doing outside my apartment just now? How damn long have you been there?” Gavin asked.

“I’ve been there since the last time we spoke.” Nines confessed. “After our last fight I thought…” He trailed off. 

“I thought you died.” Nines said much quieter than before.

The words took Gavin by surprise.  _ Nines actually thought he was dead?  _ He thought.

“Holy fuck Nines.” Gavin began to say. “Why the hell did you think that.”

Nines fought against the lump in his throat as he spoke.

“When we were arguing you mentioned that I was the reason you suffered. That everyday you thought about putting a bullet in your head. You said that you wanted it to come to an end.” Nines voice hitched as he carried on. “I don’t take offence to you blaming me. Humans tend to say things that they do not mean when emotions get in the way. That is one thing I have learned from working with you.”

Gavin knew that Nines was joking at the end trying to lighten the mood, but that did not stop him from beginning to tear up. He didn’t deserve forgiveness. He said horrible things too Nines. Things that were untrue and cruel. And Nines forgave him. Curse that over sized heart the bastard had.

Nines’ sudden words snapped Gavin back into the moment. 

“When you went into your apartment I thought that was the end.” Nines continued. “I thought I would never see you again. I went into a total panic. I believed that you killed yourself. I can’t live without you Gavin. My stress level had reached its limit and I passed out. Had you not have come and got me, I would have died. Androids have a tendency to self-destruct if their stress level gets too high. And I was okay with that. I have no purpose without you Gavin”

That was the line that broke Gavin. He started crying just as hard as Nines was. Gavin knew Nines liked him. And he knew that he shared the same feelings. But Nines was prepared to die right alongside Gavin. Now that was fucking dedication. 

Shameless tears spilled down his cheeks as Gavin sobbed out of the love he felt for Nines. He knew he didn’t deserve it. But the warmth of Nines was greater than the coldness of his intrusive thoughts.

Gavin looked up at Nines just in time to see his LED switch from yellow to red as he watched Gavin cry. Gavin felt horrible for making Nines worry about him.

The android lifted his arms up slowly, as if not to startle the human. When Gavin didn’t starle away, Nines gently wrapped his arms around Gavin’s neck. 

The action was so tender and soft it only served to make Gavin cry harder. Nines rested his head on Gavin’s shoulder.

“Nines, I'm so afraid.” Gavin sobbed. 

“What is it that you are afraid of, Gavin?” Nines asked, wiping away a few tears of his own. 

“I’m afraid I’ll get hurt. I’m afraid of turning into a monster. I’m afraid I’ll hurt you. Or lose you. I’m just so scared Nines. That’s why I did all of that shit earlier. It’s because I like you, too. I just can’t lose anyone else. Especially you. I’ve been like this my whole life. Then you come out of nowhere and everything seems lighter. I can’t lose you Nines. I can’t. I c-can’t…” 

Gavin’s voice trailed off as his voice caught in his throat. His cries of agony were so strong his entire body shook.

Gavin cuddled into Nines’ touch. He couldn’t remember the last time he was touched like this. Like he actually mattered.

“I will never leave you Gavin.” Nines said. “I promise.”

Tipsy jumped off her perch and readjusted her position. She walked over the pair and laid down in Nines’ lap. Tipsy looked up at Nines.

“You must be Tipsy.” Nines said to the cat. “You’re very soft.”

Gavin laughed. He actually laughed. Momentarily forgetting all of his heartbreak and laughing at how Nines spoke to his cat. 

“I love you.” He blurted out. Damn emotions getting the best of him again. Gavin tried to fix his slip up by blurting out more nonsense.

“Shit. Fuck. I didn’t mean that. I mean I do, but, ah fuck Nines-”

Gavin’s useless rambling was shut off with a soft kiss to his lips. Nines’ arms were still around his shoulders and he was still sitting in Gavin’s lap. His eyes were half-lidded as he stared at the man beneath him. 

Gavin paused for a moment, taken by surprise at the suddenness of the kiss. Once he regained his senses he kissed back immediately basking in the feeling of tenderness in the moment. 

Nines’ lips were very human-like. They were soft and felt so goddamn perfect against Gavin’s own. He sighed into the kiss.

Nines pulled back, kissing the tip of Gavin’s nose as he did. A light blue dusting settled across the androids cheeks as he blushed. Gavin ould stare at that sight for the rest of his fucking life. 

Gavin’s cheeks were also a rosy pink as he blushed back at his partner.

“I love you too Gavin.” Nines replied. “And I know you didn’t mean what you said earlier. It’s okay now.”

Gavin wrapped his own arms around Nines bumping their foreheads together. “I’m so fucking sorry Nines. I really am.”

Nines soothed him with a sweet kiss to his temple. “It's okay. I’m here Gavin.”

“Can we talk about something else?” Gavin asked. 

“Like what?” Nines said.

“What does this make us now? Like are we a thing?” Gavin summoned up all the courage he had. “I really want to be with you, Nines.”

Nines’ immediate reaction was to kiss Gavin with all he had in him. Smashing their lips together. It was sloppy. It was messy. But it also made both men feel like they were in heaven.

Gavin kissed back. He kissed like he had done it before and he knew what he was doing. Nines on the other hand not so much. He allowed Gavin to lead and went along happily.

The human slid his tongue out to trace along the android’s lower lip. Nines let out a breathy moan as he opened his mouth up for Gavin to explore.

Gavin’s tongue slid into Nines' mouth and he let out a moan of his own. The android didn’t taste like anything in particular. It was more of the feeling that he craved. The warmth of another being. The wetness of his tongue against his own.

They broke apart after what seemed like a lifetime, but was only about a minute. Gavin rested his forehead against his partners’.

“I want to be with you too Gavin.” Nines replied. “But you already know that. I’ve been trying to tell you all night. But I still haven’t gotten my answer.”

“Well ask away.” Gavin said against Nines’ lips.

“I don’t want to rush into things. I want you to feel comfortable the way things are. I want you so bad Gavin. Is it okay if we start seeing each other more?”

Gavin swooned at Nines’ dorkiness. “Of-fucking-course its okay if we see each other more. Fuck I love so much Nines.”

A tiny meow interrupted their love confession. Tipsy stretched out on Nines’ stomach. She looked up at them with a curious expression on her face. Gavin reached down and pet the cat’s head. 

“My two favorites.” Gavin said running his other hand through Nines’ hair. “I love you both.”

That’s the thing. Love. It had the power to bring people together. Or keep them apart. But that is why love is so powerful. Because it knows how to heal a monster. 

After all, he wasn’t a monster. Just a man who needed love. And he finally had it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank yall so much for reading<3  
> comments and kudos appreicated.

**Author's Note:**

> more chapters to come soon!  
> thank you for reading <3


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